There are not many children who can play nicely together all the time. Being self-centered creatures by nature, it is inevitable that they are going to become upset with each other at some point.

This can lead to pushing, yelling and sometimes hitting out in frustration.

And then we hear the words all children know by heart – It’s not fair!

Don’t take sides

The most important thing is not to take sides, regardless of who is at fault. This is even more essential if your step-grandchildren are involved.

Separate, time-out, admonish, and explain are the best first steps. Always admonish the bad behavior, not the child. For example, you might say, “Hans, I do not like it when you hit your sister,” not “Hans, you are a bad boy for hitting your sister!”

What to do when your grandchildren are fighting
What to do when your grandchildren are fighting

Talk the issue through

After things have settled down you should explain why a particular behave is bad or unwarranted. Talk about what the child should have done instead, and give some practical examples.

It is extremely important that the child or children be given the chance to get it right. Giving them the chance to prove they can behave in the appropriate way is essential for their own confidence and positive self-image.

All children know when they are being naughty, they don’t need to be reminded over and over again. What is more important is that they are given the opportunity to get it right and prove to you how they can moderate their behavior.

This can take time, but has a much greater impact over time because you are giving your grandchild the skills they need to manage relationships.

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What to do when your grandchildren are fighting

2 thoughts on “What to do when your grandchildren are fighting

  • April 18, 2017 at 11:37 pm
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    “What is more important is that they are given the opportunity to get it right and prove to you how they can moderate their behavior. This can take time, but has a much greater impact over time because you are giving your grandchild the skills they need to manage relationships.” I agree! There is no motivation stronger and more empowering than getting it right. I love “catching” my grandchildren doing the right thing!

    • April 19, 2017 at 7:31 am
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      Yes, that’s a lovely idea. Labeling the right behavior is fundamentally the most important thing we can do to help raise considerate, caring children.

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