The Sunshine Blogger Award or How to Rule the World if You’re a Cat
My name is Speed Bump Charlie and let’s get something straight.
I’m a cat, a bad cat. Not the sort of cat that eats too much and leaves fur everywhere. Let’s face it, any cat can do that.
In truth, I’m an evil genius. A real, fair-dinkum evil genius. I even have an app on my phone to prove it. It’s called DAWG – which, I know sounds a little like those pesky hounds if you say it with a southern accent, but it really stands for Downright Awful Wicked Genius.
But even I must give credit where credit is due. Without a nomination from Brydie Wright, author and blogger extraordinaire, my character may well have been overlooked.
Brydie’s own interview for the Sunshine Blogger Award, won on behalf of Dad from The World’s Longest Poo, poo-doer extraordinaire, is one of the most entertaining I’ve seen in recent years. Check it out here.
But, let’s get something else straight. I hate sunshine, and when I was invited to speak on this blogging thing I just wanted to spew; in fact I did, right into my author’s shoes. Don’t pull a face – I told you I was evil.
My Answers to Those Puky Questions
So, now I have an empty stomach, but I’ll try to do my best and answer these puky questions.
1. What genre did your author write you into? What makes your character a great fit for this genre?
I am an evil genius alley cat with a desire to rid the world of dogs. The author is not too bright, and somehow thought that my character would be suitable for a children’s book.
2. What is the hardest thing about being you?
Sometimes I have so many genius ideas bursting out of my brain my whiskers tingle. Also, when my plans are thwarted by those pesky dogs, and I am forced to flee capture, that makes being me difficult too.
3. Do you agree with all the choices your author makes for you?
Not always. When she decided to give me a companion I was furious. I am a sole operator, a lone wolf (excuse the dog reference). I don’t need some annoying kitten the size of a rat following me around. But, I didn’t have much choice so I called her Furball because she is as annoying as one, and about as pleasant.
4. Being a literary type, we really must know – are you a cat, or a dog person?
What?? You’re asking me if I’m a cat or a dog person. Hmmm, let me think about it – NOT!
Cats are the supreme beings. They are much better than stupid dogs who want to be patted and do tricks for food. Please! Where is their dignity?
If I had my way, dogs would be shipped off to outer space and left there. Hang on, that did happen in Dogs in Space, but why, oh why, did they come back?!
5. Does your author play favourites with her characters? Where do you fit on this spectrum?
Of course she favours Astro and those other stupid dogs. She thinks they are clever and funny. To be honest they are about as amusing as having cat flu.
But, needs must, and I simply carry on creating havoc and ruining their plans to save other dogs from neglect.
6. If you could choose a love interest from the other characters in your book, who would it be and why?
Love? Puke-city! I wouldn’t tolerate any of that mushy rubbish. I’m a hardcore cat on a mission. Although there was a gypsy cat that caught my eye once in The Gypsy Curse. Boy, what a villain she turned out to be. She actually kidnapped Astro and replaced him with a spy robot, who went on to nearly destroy Christmas. But, apart from those endearing actions, she was abhorrent to me.
7. If you could choose a name for your own blog and write about what you know and love, what would it be and why?
Cats rule! Cats are Great! Puke on the Rug if You Dare – How do they sound?
8. Do you have any plans to take over the world?
Have you been listening to me?! Of course I have. That’s my job in the Astro’s Adventures series.
I even have a plan.
Number 1: Ruin the dogs’ plans to save other dogs from neglect.
Number 2: Rid the world of all dogs, every one of them.
Number 3: Take over the world – simple, really.
That’s my 3-step plan to world domination.
9. What do you think your author, Susan Day’s, best qualities are?
Her? Well, I suppose she’s good at scratches behind the ear and writing stuff down.
Oh, and she has given me some great lines that’s for sure. She reflects my real true character – mean, tough and rotten to the core.
10. If you could speak directly to your readers, without your author as a middleman, what would you like them to hear from the horse’s mouth?
Take your dog for a walk and don’t bring it back! Ha ha!
Then feed your cat steak and organic, free-range chicken.
Allow your cat to sleep in the middle of the bed, you can sleep on the floor. It was good enough for the dog, so it’s good enough for you.
Oh, and buy my book – Speed Bump Charlie’s ABC
But be warned – it is not a nice book full of mushy, fun things. It is full of quite awful and scary things. Kids love it, parents hate it, grandparents fear it – that’s just what I intended.
Here’s the opening lines just to whet your appetite:
Welcome to my A B C
I hope you’re not going to be a chicky-whicky scaredy puss,
A spineless, jelly-kneed wuss.
You know the type that I mean
They run and turn a shade of green
When things come out at night and crawl
And slither and slop across the floor.
For this tale will fill your heart with dread,
Your mind with fear; your feet with lead!
You’ll sleep soundly no more,
One eye on the window; the other on the door.
So, if you’re brave and if you’re game,
And if your fear you’ve managed to tame,
I dare you to begin this tale
Before your courage starts to fail.
And, now I must hand over the mantle of the Sunshine Blogger Award to four of my other favourite author bloggers.
I hereby nominate:
When I was having some quiet thinking time the other day in between plotting the end of the world and puking on the rug, I came up with 10 questions and I’d love my nominated bloggers to interview any one of their characters in either a completed work or WIP.
- What genre did your author write you into? What makes your character a great fit for this genre?
- What is your favourite meal?
- Do you agree with all the choices your author makes for you?
- Being a literary type, we really must know – Nanina, the Hobbit or Harry Potter?
- Does your author play favourites with her characters?
- If you could have dinner with three famous book characters who would they be and why?
- If you could own your own retail store what would you sell and why?
- Do you have any plans to take over the world? How would you do it?
- What do you think drives your author’s passions?
- What two things do you want to be remembered for?