Many women see themselves as the grand-nurturers of the family. A nurturer is that person who cooks for every family member; knits far too many jumpers and scarves and; spends far too much time looking after everyone else. In truth, you can’t and your role may be useful and loved at times, but it may mean you are not confided in as much as you would like.
What does it Mean to be a Nurturer?
Being a nurturer is exhausting. How can you care for so many people? How can you feed and clothe them all? I know grandmothers who spend hours in the kitchen baking, then cleaning up, then baking some more. Where is the true identity?
Apart from being great cooks, what else do we know about these women? Who was their first love? What is their favorite movie, book or television program? Who was their role model? What are their dreams and hopes for their future, and the future of their grandchildren?
What’s Wrong with Being a Nurturer?
A nurturer can smother individuals if they are not careful. Many children and grandchildren feel forced to flee the over nurturing grandparent because they themselves can be swallowed up. They may lose their independence and be forced to exist passively while everything is done for them.
Don’t get me wrong. All grandchildren need to be nurtured and loved, but only to a degree. They also need someone who will stand beside them and support their decisions and choices. Someone who teach them to cook and take care of themselves, and will teach them the true meaning of being independent.
Have you found yourself over nurturing your grandkids?