See Part 1 here – 10 ways to help build resilience in grandchildren
In this two-part article I wanted to present 10 ways you (and me) can help the next generation become happier and more confident.
In Can we teach our grandchildren to be happy? We discussed how we can teach our grandchildren how to develop resilience, courage and the happiness which stems from these values.
One way is to give our grandkids things to do – practical, safe and easy tasks which will build their confidence.
6. Explore ways to have fun away from the screen
Turn off the TV and put away the phones and tablets. Go outside to the park or the yard, and discuss what you can see, hear, taste or smell. Dig a hole, crochet a scarf, or paint the fence (it didn’t do Huckleberry Fin any harm!) – make a list of things that you could do together and save them for your grandkids next visit.
7. Use criticisms cleverly
Don’t tell your grandchild he or she is failure or stupid, but do point out that they are doing something wrong. Do it politely, and perhaps with a tinge of humor. Avoid yelling or shouting too. Instead, say things like, “this is not quite right, is it? Let’s have a go and do it again.”
8. Encourage effort
Always encourage effort by thanking your grandchild for trying, but point out that they will need to work harder to get what they want. Don’t give in, and do it for them or fix the problem. Give them time to realize and ‘feel’ what they need to do to get it right (whatever it is).
9. Don’t reward effort
While we encourage effort we don’t reward it. The reward comes from doing something and succeeding. There are no gold stars given out at the end of the day at work. Children need to learn that rewards come from hard work and patience.
10 Make mistake and admit you’re human
Children need to learn that no one is perfect – not them, and not you. Admit you’ve made mistakes but share how you learned from them. How did you behave when you didn’t get the job of your dreams? What did you do when you lost something or someone precious? Identify what your resilience looked and felt like, and remind them that they have that very same diamond deep inside them –it just needs honing and shaping like everyone else’s.